(R.I.P.) 16 years. My creed.

Unstoppable.
Evilness.


(New and improved version)

There had been some major problems. Irreparable, unexplainable. Since you wanted bad to me. Since I knew, that you wanted to destroy me, and soon. I had to show up who I really am. What I had been hiding for oh so long..

That's the day. When I saw you there. Next to that closet. My hunger. My anger. These against you. All coming up. For sixteen years, I've been pushing it down. Again, again, again. And again. But now.. I think. Everyone cavil. Keep aloof. Despise. And you, my dear. Actually you're nonentity. No one will miss you. I'm sure. It could be your happy ending.. Yes. It could. And I'm good. I can save you from this! Off this non-existence. Right? Right.
And I'm doing it. In this very moment. Recklessly throwing my hair over my shoulder.
Then, I gaze. And you see. You see me. And fear. That sweet fear in your eyes. As you know my little secret, as you know all about me.. As because this fear is so sweet to me right now.. it inflames me! Don't give a flying fuck that everybody are looking. That fear paralyzes you.
I absolutely have a fancy for this. Enjoyment. Now I am unstoppable.
Now, I'll go. I'll start. Still, so ordinary, as I am a girl - I claw. I want to see you bleeding. Bleeding for real. And you are so innocent.. But I'm like an assassin (read : unstoppable).
I've waited for this for sixteen years!
And you do bleed. You even don't shout. I'm doing it in silence. Everyone look me. Eyes filled up with horror. Of course. As they think it's not normal, it's weird, it is something abnormal. They are not used with it. All my friends, my enemies, my.. whatever. They don't know what it is. What it is, when it's real. This feeling. When you do, what you're made for. When you do it to survive, to live. When you do it to enjoy, to bask. What it is, when it's real. Real me. Now, at last, they have an opportunity to see. To see real me. They want, oh they need explanations, standpoint. I really don't care. They are too afraid anyway, damn cowards. And anyhow, I do what I want to. I screw up, if I want. And I do not, if I don't want to.

But, back to you. Enough but clawing. I bite. Start ripping your flesh. Chewing and watching around. Still in silence. I like it. Around there is still the same reaction. Are they petrified or what? And you, my dear. You're still alive. Yet, for a pit. But still. And yet, that's good. I'm having fun. Watching you sweating in blood. Oh how I just love tormenting. You have no vitality, to be honest. It's pathetic. I almost feel sorry for you.. But no! Never. I have no regrets. Not ever. I am evil, am I not? Inside, outside.. Every side.

Now I'm not 'just' hungry anymore. Not 'just' angry anymore. And I start to think that.. What now? You.. You're finally dead. Passed away when I was going to bite your wrist. Then I saw. Your eyes went glassy. Not so good, no. It's bad. It's end. End for my fun. But yes, as I said. You didn't have any vitality, neither will-power. You didn't withstand for long. And I don't like dead flesh, dead blood, dead.. you. Usually, I eat, I kill, I go. Usually, there's two of us. Myself and my "food". But now. In that fucking school. About hundred and thirty people watching me in that gloomy assembly hall. And me myself. Wiping my mouth clean of blood with a sleeve. I'm now in distance with you. Couple brave teachers have sneaked behind my back closer to you. Trying to enlive you. "Oh really? So sweet. But for a pit, my dears.. Impossible!"
Now they notice that I am watching them. In silence. With an irony filled up smile towards them. But still they were brave. I have to admit it.
"Run away!" Oh, did they really thought that I were going to do something to them?? Me, the poor one, the innocent one, the good one?
Okay. Enough but this shit. It's understandable.
Now everybody whisper that probably you're dead. I laugh. And I do it out and loud.
Oh, come on. For real. Can someone really be so stupid, after seeing a person ripped to pieces starting from the neck, to think that half an hour after, this person could still be alive?
Got that. There 'are' some so stupid.
Some.. Some people who used to be my friends. Yesterday and.. today. They observe me. It's real petrified anger what's coming from there. I can feel it. Enmity, malicious. Evil? Evil.
I step. They interpret it as a threat. They're wrong. Again that.. fear. Fear, fear, fear.
Get over it for fucks sake.
But now. What 'I' will do? Have to think.. What's next?

..what do 'you' think?