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PAIN

It's hard to walk, but I'm not tired. Light is all I desire. There is an obstacle before me again. I want to go to light, but they don't let me. There are no chains, no walls. Only knowledge that I'm a prisoner. But that's enough to chain me. No need for iron. No stones. Enough but will-power. I am your prisoner.
Hands begin to trob, when around my wrists there are tensing silky streads with power of steel. Hands don't move. Also legs refuse to move. Still the light is so near. I know. This could be my escape. If only I would be able to get over there.
Tear my arm. That don't react. All right. If they don't let me go voluntary free, I'll go by force. They don't want me to be happy. They're evil. Have to bring a sacrifice 'I think' when I bite my arm.
Interesting. It's not hurting.
Flesh hatches layer by layer, lettin' me see whitely glowing bone. And for a moment, there's a thought, that even I have a power to want..

It's hard to chew sinews, but I can do it. One hand is free - half of way is gone. Dark trees are watching me in silence. Pain. Something dulls my senses. Something hurts me.
Suddenly all is black and the world disappears.
Bright light came. But too quickly.
It blinds my eyes. Arrests my senses and fills me up with cold. Suddenly it's cold. So cold. That heart's not striking and inside there's insane pain. Like freezing and burning in the same time. In moment it is gone. But I feel the memory of pain. And even that is hurting me..
Restoring warmth is coming from the right hand and silently moving over my body. Eyes are getting used with brightness and I see the beautiful world what for I've been through pain.
Prick on hand takes my attention. A needle. Red liquid flowing from hose inside me. That bringed the warmth. But. Why isn't the other hand responding? I look. And then close my eyes again. Chewed flesh and salty taste in my mouth again..
White paddled walls. White belts over my body, over my chest and thighs. People in white smocks, trying to stay away from me as far as they can.
Pain is now continous, but weak. Anesthetics..
Carefully is someone tying the remains of my left hand. Bandage is soft and it is not hurting anymore. It's white cloth trickles slowly, but unstoppably full of lightred warmth. Warmth inside me. My warmth! My vitality and my will-power!
Is this now a dream or real? Probably I'm not going to know it, because I feel how darkness sneaks. It's after me. It wants to save me. Why they don't let it?!
I just wanted to be like others. Wanted to be someone..
Before the darkness swallows me, I'm able to think, that maybe bones in chains were'nt so awful price...

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